Don't like the idea of being buried six feet under or spending eternity in a mausoleum? Say hello to the Cremator, who can fulfill all your burning desires for postmortem peace. Come to Spirits on Sproat and see what all the fiery fuss is about. Bet you didn't know these facts about Cremator:
- Suffers from: Chronic heartburn, black lung, incurable goth-iness
- Secret shame: Refuses to show his face after a botched Botox lip flip
- Career highlight: Served as official mascot of the bubonic plague in 1347
- Voted in high school: Best dressed for a funeral
