Sunday, October 22, 2023

Meet Swampy McGee

A former denizen of the dank Everglades, Swampy McGee departed his prior cesspool recently and became a squalid squatter on our property. Ever hungry for a fresh frontal lobe or a spicy cerebellum, and desperately seeking deodorant, you can bet that this Walking Dead wannabe won't be appearing on "The Bachelorette" anytime soon. 

More vitals on Mr. McGee:

  • Also known as:  The bog zombie with particularly poor motor skills
  • Suffers from: Water on the knee, trench foot, a terrible taste in clothes, atrocious table manners
  • Nicknames: Marsh-mellow, brainiac, Bayou Lou, Swamp Thing
  • Hates: Politicians who threaten to “drain the swamp”