Tuesday, October 21, 2025

Meet Michael Myers

What would our scary season be without the man who put the "howl" in Halloween? While he bears a striking resemblance to an albino-ized William Shatner (look it up, you doubters), his cold, expressionless face sends chills up the spines of teenage babysitters everywhere. He's not an easy creep to interview, but after some interrogation, here's what we've learned about Michael Myers:

  • Most famous movie role: The voice of “Shrek”
  • Weapon of choice: The Ginsu Cleave-O-Matic
  • Who’s on his hit list: Hollywood hacks who attempt lame remakes of classic films